IT HURTS (Inspired By Being Mary Jane – 04-14-15)

Its not that
I no longer believe
In love
Its just that
Every time that
I fall
In love
Someone ends up being hurt
And most of the time
Its me…

Its not that
I’m afraid
To love again
Its just that
The safest sex
Is no sex at all
And I’ve gotten so used to
Being alone
That I no longer feel
The need for intimacy(Or being “needy”)
Because this way I don’t attach
To someone again
That may one day
Wake up and want to go away
And I’m left with that pain
In my chest
That hits like the blow of death
So instead of loving someone else
I’ll just
Love myself…

Its not that
I don’t desire
A soul mate
Its just that
When you “really”
Reach that place
Where the souls do mate
And you open up
Your heart to share that sacred space
Where love makes
Every moment priceless
And all sense of time is lost
When love lends wings
Then you start seeing stars
And walking on air
Its just that
Once you crash back to earth
And get your head out of the clouds
Your spirit becomes broken
And your mind is no longer open
To ever even thinking about
That outer body experience again
Because reality hurts too damn much
When the love is lost
And there is no Novocain
Or painkillers
For a heartache
And a wounded soul…

Its just that
It Hurts!

(c)Copyrights 2015 by Halim A. Flowers – Excerpt from the collection “Being Mary Jane” – Written while listening to “You And I” by Stevie Wonder

Halim Flowers
Halim Flowers
DOB- 09-01-80
Washington, D.C.
30 years to life
Contact Information-
Halim Flowers
Federal Correctional Institution Gilmer
P.O. Box 6000
Glennville, West Virginia 26351

My name is Halim Flowers and I am an author, poet, blogger(, and at-risk youth advocate. I have been incarcerated for 18 years, since I was 16 years of age for aiding and abetting a felony murder in a case where I was not the shooter and the person charged as the gunman had his case dismissed and was never tried for this offense. I know it sounds crazy but it is my destiny for now and I embrace. My passion in life is learning and helping to enlighten and inspire others, especially helping to develop the character and lives of young men. I was featured in an Emmy award winning documentary about my experiences as a child at the adult D.C. Jail titled "Thug Life In DC"(See Thug Life In DC at YouTube) and I have authored nine books in the genres of self-help, prisoner reform, juvenile justice, memoir, and poetry(See Halim Flowers at I very contrite for my past criminal offenses and seriously committed to helping our youth to understand "Victim's Impact" and breaking the "school-to-prison pipeline".