“Grown”
By Demond A. Jackson
I’m a “GROWN ASS MAN!” Grown enough to separate good from bad, grown enough to understand some things just isn’t worth it, and grown enough to interpret when its time to except things for what they are verses what I want them to be.
I’ve out grown “F#@! IT!”, to grown to allow my emotion to consume me to the point, where I make ignorant decision just because: “my emotions got the best.” I’ve grown to the point that it irks me, when grown ass men who claim to know better refuse to do what’s right, just to fall victim, to life’s altering youthful mistakes. Its far from cute, handsome or fly when a grown man makes falls victim to his own demise.
The truly Grown know this. That being the case, they act their age, apply life’s lessons, staying clear of situation and circumstances that may jeopardize their livelihood.
Let me be clear, I’m not saying grown folks are perfect and above making mistakes. ( No man can avoid the unexpected.) But their is one principle in which all “Grown folks” live by “Give that which you expect in return.”
You are not grown if you are being and doing scandalous acts, expecting it not to come back. You are an “A_DULT” someone who mistreat those that genuinely love and support them, someone who walks around like their S#$T don’t stick, yet expect people to love them no matter what, while inhaling their toxic aura.
Prison is an environment that caters and perpetuate “A_DULTS” (Especially when it comes to men..) Majority of the men in prison today are “A_DULTS” individuals who are selfish and malicious in their own way. Now.., when it comes to the young males I’m extremely empathetic. But the 40 and over…:o{ really need “STOP IT!” Truth be told, I spend a surmountable amount of my time advising, thinking and fighting for ‘GROWN’ men. I’ve been behind these walls going on 18 years, I know convicts better than I know any other form of man in existence. Some of my closest friends are convicts, men I’ve met while in prison, individuals who have been through their share of real adversities and socially are considered some what rough around the age. But for the most part these men are really good people who would give me the shirt off their back and risk their lives for me if need be. Yet and still this doesn’t take away the fact that some of them possess scandalous natures and are inconsiderate when it comes to others. Therefore, I spend allot of time “Stopping” these individuals from allowing their negative sides from dictate their actions.
I’m so accustom to doing this that I’m like the “The Convict Whisperer” I can feel a situation brewing between to men and instantly I will step in and defuse the situation. Yet the men who are closest to me, the ones I spend the most time with. Are still doing things that “Grown men” should not be doing. Recently a friend of mine was taking out of the prison on a stretcher. My heart hurt for my friend, yet I was more hurt over the fact that he cause the situation upon his self, do to his negative nature at times and inconsideration for others. Another one of my friends was just arrested, after spending 22 years of his life behind these walls. We use to talk for hours while walking the track, with me telling him how many opportunities existed for him to be successful. What hurt me the most is the fact that I told him and warned him not to deal with certain individuals when he came home. Because these individuals are untrustworthy people, who for some strange reason seems to avoid the repercussion of crime. Come to find out he went home and started dealing with the same person I warned him not to. The same person he told me he would never deal with and low and behold this person set him up in a drug sting.
I’m starting to feel like I’m to grown to continue to befriend individuals who have no consideration for how their action effect me and those who love them. This subject is painful, I have never turned my back on a friend, I’ve never judge people for their imperfections. Yet the “Grown man” in me is saying “You’re grown Demond!!” “Grow up and let them go…” Being grown isn’t easy. It mandates a time in life where we have to leave our playmates behind, those who refuse to leave the sandbox. There’s a verse in the Bible: Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things.” Leaving my “A_DULT” friends behind is going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But I’m ‘Grown’ and doing anything otherwise would simply be wrong.
I'm the son of an African American queen, born and raised in Los Angeles California, where I was groomed in its infectious gang culture. For the past decade and half, the federal Bureau of Prison has been a institution of self-education, self-evaluation and the reason I now possess knowledge of self. That being so, I now strive to expose the solution to the problems that our plaguing our communities, America's youth and this country as a whole. There's a saying: "There's nothing new up under the sun." Simply put, if there's one thing in this universe existence, that has seen all thing that mankind has done or not done, it is the sun. That means the moral dissension that taking place currently is nothing new. Historian have written about times where the moral fabric of a nation was so tattered where the only solution for change was war a destruction. This country was built and establish to be the nation it is today. By the disenfranchised, those who were being oppressed by the Queen and her fellow Aristocrats. Therefore if this country is to change once again for the better. It will begin and must begin with the actions and the voice of the disenfranchised i.e, America's minorities, poor and it's third class citizen the American Ex-felon. That being said I'm committed to "WRITING MY WRONGS..." and sewing seed of knowledge and truth that will blossom into peace, prosperity and positive change
Writing Contact:
DEMOND JACKSON #05934-088
FCI Victorville Medium II
FEDERAL CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION
PO BOX 3850
ADELANTO, CA 92301
Love it that is truly grown…
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